Tuesday, March 27, 2012

"Formal" Introductions

Well, I caved.  I finally gave into the social pressure and got one of these blog things.  I feel like a 15 year old girl.  Damnit.  
My name is Jacquelynn, but you're welcome to call me Jac, Jackie, or "That Bitch on Sesame Street", and I started what I call "my job" several years ago when I realized that there is a huge demand for affordable, family-oriented horses that would have otherwise been shipped to slaughter.  I've been doing the horse thing for as long as I can remember.  My parents decided buying a few miniatures back when I was five would hopefully get it out of my system.  Needless to say, they were VERY wrong.  Twenty-something years later, here I am finally doing something that I feel is worthwhile, benefitial to both horses and humans alike, and saving lives in the process.  Do I make millions?  Nope.  Do the hours stink?  Definitely. Do I enjoy what I do?  Just about every minute of it.  I've developed a very "different" sense of humor in my dealings the past few years, so in the interest of not bombarding Facebook with status updates ranting and raving about the less-than-brilliant folks I'm subjected to, I decided to start a blog.  I tend to become rather "colorful" (which is code for "I'm an asshole") when venting about my run-ins with stupid people, and unfortunately in this business, I get a LOT of them.  I share my stories with others mainly for their entertainment (let's be honest, who doesn't like to laugh at someone else's expense?!), but to hopefully to teach horse-shoppers what NOT to do when looking for a new horse because, odds are, you currently annoy the shit out of those of us that are trying to sell you one!  (By the way: I'll explain the whole "Yes I Live On Sesame Street" thing one day when I have nothing else to bitch about.)
For those not familiar with me and what I do, here's the pretty, cleaned-up, website-appropriate version (because as a general rule, I cuss like a sailor):
Most of my weekends are spent at horse auctions.  We're not talking about the nice, clean, pretty show-horse auctions.  No, I go to the shady, bottom-of-the-bucket auctions that most horse people shudder to think about.  The types of auctions that most horses go through and end up in Canada or Mexico shortly thereafter.  For the majority of those horses, it's a last-stop, a last chance, and one last opportunity for someone to see that tiny glimmer of talent or life left in them and scoop them up before they get loaded onto that big, dark stock trailer for one last ride.  
That's where myself and my team come in.  When we arrive at an auction, we don't look at the pretty, glossed-up amazing show and work horses that everyone is drooling over while they ride around like world-champions.  Those horses will end up in a home and ultimately, with a family.  We go to the back, the dark corners of the auction barns.  We look for the "damaged goods", the cut-up legs, the ugly sores, the underweight horses, sickly and malnourished babies, the ones no one else will look at except the meat men.  If they look utterly terrified and therefore "wild", they catch our attention.  Those are the ones we try to save.  I've found that 95% of those horses, with a little time and maybe some training, some rehabilitation (both physical and mental), and lots of love will give you everything they can and make FANTASTIC mounts for one discipline or another.  Most of those horses go through the sale pen with little or no history, many are just "drop offs" that their owners tied to a fence with their Coggins test, with a fresh hip number sticker on their buttcheek, and left to fend for themselves.
Every horse we win is a gamble, both financially and for the safety of myself and my team.  You hear horror stories about drugged horses, dangerous "man-eaters" that were pawned off as kid-safe at a sale, and yes, we sometimes end up with those too. Fortunately, I'm blessed to work with some very talented people who share my passion for "turning garbage into gold" and together we've recovered and re-homed some phenomenal horses that even I thought at first were too far gone to save.  We don't win them all, and I have a firm commitment to my team's safety and the horses we bring home to euthanize any horse deemed too far gone to be able to safely rehabilitate after 90 days and evaluations by several other equine professionals including a veterinarian and outside trainers.  I will not put my name on a horse or pony and call it "safe" if I don't feel 100% confident to stand behind that claim, whether it's that day, or 10 years down the road.  
Unfortunately, in this day in age, it seems like everyone has taken a financial hit with the economy.  I've always been of the belief that you don't need to spend thousands of dollars to get a nice horse that will do the job you want it to do.  Sometimes, I barely make ends meet, and sometimes I have just enough cash left over to go buy myself a new pair of boots.  I don't have health insurance, and can't remember the last time I had my hair cut and colored.  But I've worked very hard and have an amazing support team that enables me to keep my costs down, and ultimately my prices, when its time to re-home these horses and ponies.  All I ask in return is that my buyers provide them with the kind of life, love and care that they almost didn't get to have.

So welcome to the shitshow that is my life and my work, please feel free to comment and send feedback.  Please don't be negative, my dealings with the public irritate me enough as it is.


  1. Sound fun! Hope I didn't make the cut. . . :)

  2. HAHA! Not at ALL Allison! Hope you and that hefty Haflie are having a great time together!

    1. We are having a blast! She has really come out of her shell and is quite the sassy mare. But so good and willing to please!


I ABSOLUTELY welcome comments, as long as they're not rude or disrespectful (that's my job). I write this blog for my own benefit and the benefit of my fans, so please don't come in here and try and start a fight. I don't knock on your door and bitch at you, please don't do it here.